Thank you! I'll totally check out the book...and how messed up is it that I KNOW ITS ME and not her...ok, sometimes it is her, but mostly me. Can't I stop growing yet!
I have heard from you and a few other moms who are dealing with this and it helps a lot. After this show I had some smooth sailing...probably because I talked it out on the show, but then tonight...BAM! I started going nuts.
Thanks for the encouragement. I will take it and good for you getting the book as a form of help and not throwing it away when it suggested the whole self awareness thing. You are doing a great job. Now if only we could believe it and let go of the guilt!
OMG Biz, I totally understand how you're feeling! I get the same way with my 2 1/2 yr old. I hate when I lose my temper because it feels like a reaction, not something I'm choosing. And in that moment I'm not being the parent I want to be, and worse, not being the parent I feel my child deserves (mom guilt anyone?).
And I agree that most of what I was seeing was geared towards the child's behavior, but I could feel that what was going on wasn't necessarily because of my daughter's behavior... because on a different day, the same behavior might not drive me up the wall the way it is at that moment. So I found this book called "When Your Kids Push Your Buttons---and what you can do about it" by Bonnie Harris. I'm only a couple chapters in but it's already helping. Instead of focusing on what your kid is doing and how to manage/avoid it, it focuses on WHY you're reacting the way you are. It helps you to identify your personal triggers and how to interrupt the reaction cycle. Basically it helps you figure out how much of what is going on is your shit that you've brought with you from your growing up and how that is affecting you now. And then it helps you know what to do about it.
And kudos for you for recognizing you needed a minute and taking a time-out. We are only human and we're all going to be less than perfect and that's ok. It's not about being perfect for our kids, it's just as important to show them what we do when we're not at our best. But maybe I'm saying that because I'm screwing up all the time. Anyway. Thanks for a great show, it's good to know that I'm not the only one going nuts and feeling guilty at the same time.