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PostPosted: Fri Jun 13, 2014 4:31 pm 
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Joined: Thu Jan 04, 2007 1:51 am
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Location: Los Angeles, CA
This week, on a Very Special Father’s Day episode of One Bad Mother, Biz and Theresa revisit the always-festive topic of Mom Guilt, and try to create a safe space to admit we don’t always like being a mom (eek). Plus, baby vomit! Instead of calling a mom this week, in honor of the holiday we welcome our partners, Jesse Thorn and Stefan Lawrence, into the studio and chat with them about all the changes over the last year and hear their genius and fails!

Episode 59: Mom Guilt Part 2: We Should Be Enjoying This!

Do you ever feel guilty about how you feel about your kids or how you feel about being a mom? How do you handle it?

Share and discuss!

And, Happy Father's Day to the dads out there!

_________________
Theresa


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 13, 2014 6:31 pm 
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Jesse's Golden Eagles
Jesse's Golden Eagles
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Joined: Fri Jul 27, 2012 12:33 am
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Hey! Happy Father's Day!

This is slightly off-topic, but I want to suggest a show topic: raising children with LGBT sensitivity / awareness / intelligence. I thought the key to this would simply be having many gay and transgender friends in our lives, over to our house, etc. So our daughter would grow up seeing love and life from all angles. But it hasn't yet been enough. She is still bombarded with heteronormative media messages that make her think that one woman/one man is the way "it's supposed to be." Worse, when I started looking into basic sex ed books (she's 9 - so it's time), almost none of them address this issue with enough depth and breadth to address the actual way so many children are created today. They insist on this outdated trope that the only way to make a baby is to have a penis enter a vagina. No discussion of two women who love each other very much and have a male friend who donates sperm to the creation of their child. No discussions of the beauty of the modern technology that makes this work.

I really thought we were further ahead on these issues as a society - but we're not. And I think the only way to move ahead is trying to teach our kids properly.

Just a suggestion. Would love to hear your thoughts.


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 16, 2014 8:52 pm 
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New Kid

Joined: Tue Jul 02, 2013 3:13 pm
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Hi Theresa -

ALL THE TIME. I think this guilt is worse that the guilt of being a working mom (you know, the guilt we are MEANT to feel at leaving our babies). Since I feel like I should enjoy every minute of my time with them because I work, when I don't, I feel extra specially bad.

I try to think about it this way - studies have shown that women spend far more time raising their kids now than they did in the 70s and yet worry about it FAR more than moms did in the 70s. and that is accounting for the fact that the majority of women in the 70s stayed home. SO. we are all doing a great job, right? and, compared with Betty Draper, just think how amazing we look! not that all moms were Betty Drapers back then, smoking and drinking through pregnancy, but they didn't feel badly about not paying attention to their kids. this whole feeling badly about whether or not you are a good enough mom and whether you should be enjoying motherhood is a more modern construct. I tend to think if you are guilty about not loving being a mom AT ALL TIMES you are more than likely doing a great job!

for sure you, Theresa, are doing an AMAZING JOB. and Biz too, if she reads these.

xo E


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 16, 2014 11:38 pm 
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New Kid

Joined: Thu Aug 08, 2013 11:18 pm
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The only thing you need to feel guilty about is how great you two are along with the rest of the listening community.
Glad one bad mother enjoyed that mini horse!

The question was raised about what things future parents worry about; I'm mainly worried about my partner having debilitating back issues when we decide to start our family considering she has already had back surgery. Being able to afford it. Babies seem expensive.


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