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PostPosted: Fri Jun 27, 2014 4:34 am 
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Biz and Theresa want to know why, after all the misery of pregnancy and all the lack of sleep of life with a newborn, we would even think of having another baby. Where does that urge come from? Let’s kill it when we find out. Plus, Theresa compliments her partner and Biz realizes there are no voices in her head except her own. We are joined by author and blogger Dawn Meehan, who is a single mom with six kids!

Episode 61: Let's Get Pregnant Again!

Did you feel the unexplained urge to procreate AGAIN after baby #1? (or #2 or #3, etc.?) How did you handle it?

Share and discuss!

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 02, 2014 2:32 am 
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New Kid

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A few things. First, the episode was great, thank you.
My answer to your question: eventually, the urge to get pregnant again went away. After each of my first four kids, I felt pain when I saw/smelled/held a baby and wished I was pregnant. After my fifth, it's not there anymore.

Dawn Meehan said so many great things - I especially liked her comment on how to flip common things that get said to moms-of-many. I also really liked how she encouraged moms to look and listen to the kids. I hear this so much and want to do it more. I also admire her ability to accomplish so much as an author and blogger.

I do disagree with one thing she said and have to comment. I have a big family, and my standards have not gone down. Dawn is right when she said that when everyone gets out of the house wearing matching shoes, it is a good day. But when she said that "none of them are in jail", I was sad. Just because I have a lot of kids, it doesn't mean I don't want the best, and will work for it, for each one. As moms of two, you know that you love each kid as much as the first. I don't see this passion ever waning in the big families I know, including my own. A dear friend of mine has 7 children, and the first two are in their 4th and 2nd years at Cornell. She wants the same for each subsequent child. I want the best for each of my children, as if each were my only child, and I don't see that ever changing. I will always want more than just keeping them out of jail.


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 02, 2014 3:22 am 
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Mia33 wrote:
...eventually, the urge to get pregnant again went away. After each of my first four kids, I felt pain when I saw/smelled/held a baby and wished I was pregnant. After my fifth, it's not there anymore.


That is so interesting! And thank you for describing it as "pain." I totally get that.

Mia33 wrote:
I do disagree with one thing she said and have to comment. I have a big family, and my standards have not gone down. Dawn is right when she said that when everyone gets out of the house wearing matching shoes, it is a good day. But when she said that "none of them are in jail", I was sad. Just because I have a lot of kids, it doesn't mean I don't want the best, and will work for it, for each one. As moms of two, you know that you love each kid as much as the first. I don't see this passion ever waning in the big families I know, including my own...


This is such an important point and thank you so much for being here to make it. And really well said.

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 02, 2014 7:49 pm 
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I totally get what Biz is saying about wanting to do it again to get it "right". I had an easy pregnancy with my first child but didn't completely enjoy it because it was my first so I was all nervous about everything. then, I was all set to enjoy the second pregnancy but it kind of sucked - not easy like the first. same with the kids themselves. not that I think one can ever be a "perfect" mother but I do sometimes catch myself thinking - "welp, it's too late for that one, let's see if I can get it right with this one..." EEK!

I told my husband the other day that it's not so much that I want another baby as I would like the option of another baby - he is firmly against it. I don't think he got what I was trying to say. I don't feel we can have a proper conversation about it because he is so closed off to the idea so anything I said would necessarily sound defensive or overly aggressive.

sigh. being a mother is so hard sometimes but I do love me some babies :)


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 03, 2014 2:19 am 
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Erbera, remind me what your kids' ages are again?

I would have a hard time not having the "option" as you say. Somehow it makes it more emotionally manageable for me to see my kids growing up if I can sometimes tell myself I'll have one more. But...that doesn't mean I will actually need to have one more. Maybe just having the option serves a purpose in and of itself.

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 03, 2014 2:22 pm 
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Hi Theresa -

My son is 5 and my daughter is 2. We live in NYC, so really having another is not very practical (but then again, was having one practical? was having 2 practical?). there are so many reasons not to have another baby, and the only reason to have another one is because I love my kids and would of course love another one, if that makes sense.

having the option taken away makes me sad, but it's kind of hard for my husband to change his mind too. if he doesn't want one, he doesn't want one!

E


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 03, 2014 9:16 pm 
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You'll just have to trick him into impregnating you.

Kidding! Really really kidding. That would suck on so many levels.

You have such a good peaceful attitude about this. I think that means it's going to work out ok one way or the other.

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 07, 2014 1:42 pm 
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New Kid

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ha! don't think I haven't thought about it. (kidding also - I can't imagine how that conversation would go down!)

thanks for saying that. I am not sure if I am peaceful or resigned but maybe they amount to the same thing :)


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 11, 2014 3:52 pm 
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Talent!
Talent!

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Oh my god! I finally have a minute to check out the boards and Theresa is trying to get everyone to have Oops Babies. Stop it!

Shame, shame, shame.

Now, everyone go get drunk and fool around.

Biz


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 11, 2014 5:40 pm 
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New Kid

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Biz - you are my kind of lady :)


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