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PostPosted: Mon Sep 03, 2012 9:18 am 
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Discuss!


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 03, 2012 1:59 pm 
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 04, 2012 4:59 pm 
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WHAT'S IN THE COOKIE BOX I HAVE TO KNOW


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 04, 2012 10:20 pm 
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I should not have been sipping water right before "Haunted Jugs" was said.

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 05, 2012 2:01 pm 
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I cannot believe they didn't open the box! Do you still have it? Can you send it to me?


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 05, 2012 9:22 pm 
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lydia_may_crowe wrote:
I cannot believe they didn't open the box! Do you still have it? Can you send it to me?


I can fully and completely believe they didn't open the box since what they'd likely have found inside was a massive, wriggling horde of fucking maggots.

Pardon the profanity, but unless you've actually encountered a veritable ball of wriggling white maggots, you don't know just how horrible it is. I swear, I instantly feel like they're on me and in me.

I'm shuddering and gagging a little bit right now just thinking about it.

Wait, did that bag of goldfish crackers just move on its own?


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 05, 2012 9:36 pm 
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Pardon the profanity, but unless you've actually encountered a veritable ball of wriggling white maggots, you don't know just how horrible it is.


Funny you should mention that -- I have. I threw a dead chipmunk my cat had brought in the bushes on a really hot day and glanced at it again four or five hours later...well, I hate to admit it, but I was just fascinated. If you look at it with an air of scientific detachment -- I mean, what would life be like WITHOUT maggots? They're nature's cleanup crew! Right?....Right, guys?

Anyway, it would be pretty gross to find them in a food you previously loved and it makes me feel better to imagine that it was a giant ball of maggots asphyxiating in that box and not an adorable little brown mouse with a white, cookie-fattened belly and giant ears.

I STILL want to know what was in there.


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 06, 2012 12:03 am 
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In regards to not wanting to buy "just condoms" or "tampons and ice cream" - you guys are missing out on a LOT of fun. I have, on multiple occasions, bought a ridiculously stereotypical combination of items (that I actually needed/wanted anyway - but wasn't going to buy "coverup" items), to see if the cashier reacts or tries to repress a reaction. These combos include:
-tampons, chocolate ice cream, and advil
-ginger ale, tissues, and chicken noodle soup

Oh, and I also think it's funny to find the most awkward cashier to check out with when buying condoms. (pro tip: teenage boy)

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PostPosted: Thu Sep 06, 2012 2:36 am 
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I tried to buy condoms by themselves once, but the grocery store said they were inside the pharmacy, that they lock up at 8pm. So a 24hour grocery store only sells condoms durning the day, as if that makes any sense.

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PostPosted: Thu Sep 06, 2012 6:42 pm 
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lydia_may_crowe wrote:
Quote:
Pardon the profanity, but unless you've actually encountered a veritable ball of wriggling white maggots, you don't know just how horrible it is.


Funny you should mention that -- I have. I threw a dead chipmunk my cat had brought in the bushes on a really hot day and glanced at it again four or five hours later...well, I hate to admit it, but I was just fascinated. If you look at it with an air of scientific detachment -- I mean, what would life be like WITHOUT maggots? They're nature's cleanup crew! Right?....Right, guys?

Anyway, it would be pretty gross to find them in a food you previously loved and it makes me feel better to imagine that it was a giant ball of maggots asphyxiating in that box and not an adorable little brown mouse with a white, cookie-fattened belly and giant ears.

I STILL want to know what was in there.


I'm a very non-squeamish guy. But, those wriggling maggots.... I'd rather they do their work out of my view.

Have you ever seen the footage of the mouse epidemic in, I think, Australia, where they got into the granaries? They showed a farmer pulling open the door to one of the granaries and mice literally pouring out.

That footage combined with our own lesser version of a mouse infestation has forever taken the shine off the cute little micies for me. I'll never forget the day my daughter dropped a piece of apple on the floor and on picking it up having the added spice of a piece of mouse crap that I thankfully spotted before her next bite. After that, it was fucking war. I treat them like any other unwanted invader to my house.

Maggots or mice, I'm fully with the caller on deciding they could stay in the box. All that said, I do get your curiosity. I guess I'll wish you the good luck to discover a box with an unknown moving mass inside?


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 06, 2012 7:44 pm 
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Oh, I understand perfectly, mouses in the houses are a big problem. I'd rather get rid of them humanely, but I know from my parents' old farmhouse, once they get in there in sufficient numbers a live trap isn't going to cut it. And I've had pet rats that I loved, but a wild rat infestation is another thing entirely. Still think they're cute but STAY OUT OF MY HOUSE.

Thanks for the good wishes. Maybe I'll just stow a box of crackers in a closet for a year and see what happens. (Not wasting good Girl Scout Cookies.)


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 06, 2012 8:08 pm 
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san diegan reporting in.

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PostPosted: Thu Sep 06, 2012 8:53 pm 
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Quote:
I have, on multiple occasions, bought a ridiculously stereotypical combination of items (that I actually needed/wanted anyway - but wasn't going to buy "coverup" items), to see if the cashier reacts or tries to repress a reaction. These combos include:
-tampons, chocolate ice cream, and advil
-ginger ale, tissues, and chicken noodle soup


Oh, now I just have to tell this story -- once my husband and his friends (all guys, in their teens or early twenties at the time) went to the hardware store and bought all the components to make a potato gun (PVC pipe, valve, igniter, aerosol cans, etc.). The cashier looked down at their selection, looked up at them, and just said, "Be careful, guys."

Now every time we're buying an obvious combo (marinara sauce/mozzarella/pizza crust, birdseed/birdfeeder) and nothing else one of us always says "Be careful, guys."


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2012 12:38 pm 
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One afternoon my mother sent my dad and I to the supermarket to buy some gin, because she was making damson gin with the damsons from the tree in their garden .We just picked out the cheapest gin because it was going to be damson flavoured anyway. Then we remember that we had everything we need for dinner that night except cheese, so we bought a big piece of cheese.

So our entire purchase was two bottle of dirt-cheap gin, and a huge piece of cheddar cheese. I hope the cashier thought we were about to have the saddest lunch ever.


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 1:35 pm 
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lydia_may_crowe wrote:
Maybe I'll just stow a box of crackers in a closet for a year and see what happens. (Not wasting good Girl Scout Cookies.)


Yes! Please! Do it! I think you should call in to JJGo! when you finally stow the box, informing them that you're trying to replicate the experience of the previous caller. Then, call in every six months or so to let us know if you can yet feel the unidentified moving thing.


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