Maximum Fun Forum

Julie brings the case against her husband Jason. Julie says Jason is a book hoarder, letting old novels and textbooks rot away in their garage. He says he's acquired a great collection of books and is working his way through the stacks. Who is right? Who is wrong? ONLY ONE MAN CAN DECIDE.

Judge John Hodgman Episode 100: The Book Case

Plaintiff Julie submitted an image of her desk at work, defaced only hours after the podcast's release this AM.

Your Honor,

With all due respect, I disagree with your ruling on "The Book Case." I speak on this matter as a reforming book hoarder myself; I use the present tense because, like any addiction, I think I will forever have to be on the look-out for back-sliding into my former bad habits.

Some quick background on me: I'm on the verge of the age of 45, college-educated (and yes, I still have some of my college textbooks), and an avid reader since a very young age. I have also moved many, many times, and the last time I moved, I think I had upwards of 20 boxes of books. Which is ridiculous.

My objection to your ruling is basically no. This guy does not need to keep all these books, even though they have space for them. I have recently hit that "I've got to get rid of all this shit!" phase that you talked about in your ruling - and I was really glad you put that out there for him to consider. It's not about the stuff.

And yes, I used to keep a book, look at it, dust it, pack it up in a box and move it AGAIN because "I want to read this someday." But there are such things as "libraries" in our world, and there is also such a thing as "inter-library loan" in our world, and I find that there are very few books that I cannot find through either of these means. Now, the husband in this case DID say something about he doesn't read books from libraries, which was not followed up, but I'm very curious as to his rationale on this matter. Is this some bizarre germaphobia he has? Or does he feel that libraries also steal royalty income from authors, as used book stores do? Does he object to sharing? What's his problem with reading a library book? (It sounds kinda snobby to me.)

I wonder so strongly about this because library access to books has become one of the legs of my three-legged approach to my being a happy book lover. I am constantly culling my books, and one criteria for "letting go" of a book is whether or not I will be able to find it in a library, should I require access to it in the future. For example, the first book he pulled off the shelf (the Melville book) he most certainly be able to find in a library in the future, should he need it. "I'll be able to get this at the library" is a great mantra to use when getting rid of books.

Further, we also have, in our world, electronic readers, which offer you access not only to new books, but also to many classic books, usually for no charge (or for a very small fee.) This is why I feel fine about getting rid of my as-yet unread copy of The Count of Monte Cristo, as there are several free editions available for me to download onto my e-reader, when I do finally want to read it. I think this husband needs to accept the advances of our technological civilization and allow himself to know that he will be able to access through other means the information he is currently hoarding.

(If there is a zombie apocalypse someday, and there is suddenly an urgent question regarding school law among the survivors, and there is no electricity or internet connectivity, THEN he'll be justified in holding on to that out-of-date law textbook, but, as the likelihood of that is quite low, I think he'd be safe in getting rid of it.)

I also object to his idea that "once you've read a book, it has to be kept." Balderdash. The only reason I keep a book is if it was so engrossing, so well-written, such a window to another world, that I know I'm going to need to read it again someday. If it was "good," if it was "ok," if it was "meh," it goes into the used book store buy back bag. (I rarely throw away books. I did throw away the copy of Waiting to Exhale that I was reading - before I finished it - because it was so awful that I didn't even want somebody ELSE to read it. And I threw away the first copy of Middlesex that I bought, because I'm fairly certain that it had been dropped in a toilet before I acquired it.)

So, I would offer this criterion as one he might consider as he manipulates his collection. Was this book so good that I'm going to want to read it again? If not, get rid of it. If so, then make a space for it.

I also want to address one of his arguments, that it's good for his children to keep all these books around. In the way that he stated, yes. However, in a more general societal values way, no. If I could, I would ask him: "Are you behaving in a way that you would want your children to behave?" Or "Are you being a good role model for your children? Do you want your children to think that 'things' are more important than people, or do you want them to know that books are just things, and that they will be easily available and accessible throughout your life, and that people are more important than things?" (Not to say that he's not a loving and well-balanced man, but c'mon dude. You know your kids are watching and copying most of your behaviors. Do you want to see this one perpetuated?)

I would humbly submit for his and your consideration these book-retention criteria:
1. Keep books that you are sure you're going to want to read again.
2. Keep books that have a very strong sentimental value (VERY strong, like a 10 on a scale of 1 to 10. Maybe a 9.)
3. Get rid of any unread book that you would reasonably be able to find in your library.
4. Get rid of any textbook or reference manual that is wildly out-of-date and would be in fact detrimental to your information base should you pick it up and extract information from it.

Keep/library/e-reader. The three legs of the base of the this book hoarder's stool of book sanity.

Very humbly submitted,
with all respect and many thanks,
Jennifer

Thank you, Jennifer! I concur.

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Where's that cat video I was promised?

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Caustic Soda: #2 Vancouver BC podcast after Stop Podcasting Yourself 2 years in a row! www.causticsodapodcast.com

Thank you Jennifer for your advice! I've been rather lazy in letting books accrue to the point where they've overgrown their bookshelf, spilled out onto the floor, and in a practice I thought was only limited to used book stores and college libraries, I'm catching teens having sex behind my stacks. What would you all recommend as ways for getting rid of mass quantities of books? Used book store? Amazon? Paperback trade site? What if they're all marked up with writing?

I'm also trying to determine whether the Black Market photo is a screenshot taken from the (amazing) British comedy Black Books






P.S. Love your show too Toren!

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If you're in the Boston area, I highly suggest this charity: http://mtwyouth.org/

The thing book lovers hate to hear is that a lot of used books have no market value and are likely to be thrown away (or recycled if you're lucky) by the used book store you donate to.

A local public library may want your old books if they hold a regular book sale/fundraiser, but the odds of something you donate ending up on their shelves/in circulation are extremely low. Always ask first before dumping your old books on them; they have enough of their own to purge so they don't need more added to the pile.

Fuzzy,

I would recommend giving them a good sorting.

Any severely marked-up book is probably not resalable, but you could give these to Goodwill or some other charity thrift store.

Books in pretty good condition, you could either sell en masse to a used book store - you probably won't get a ton of money or store credit for them, but you'll have the dual satisfaction of getting them out of your house AND knowing that someone else will get to read and enjoy them. You could list them on Amazon, but this can be a fairly labor-intensive process - you have to set up the listing, which involves determining the quality of the book, determining a price that you want to ask, and writing a short but captivating description. And then you have to store the books until and if they sell. But you can make a little money off of it, if you're willing to do the work.

Cheers!

I agree that the defendant's snobby response indicating his hatred of libraries should have been followed up on.

In defense of my DH, we go to the library all the time for the kids. However, he doesn't get books for himself at the library because he's still chugging through our library and doesn't want to admit that he needs any additional books.

Yeah, I know. Bizarre!

_________________
I make free mobile health apps for the military community (civilians can use them, too). Paid for by your tax dollars!
http://t2health.org/products/mobile-apps

Julie,

So he's actually limiting himself to reading only the books from the in-house collection?!

That makes me sad! I think this is another really good reason to break up the collection and open up his horizons.

Good luck, girl!

Jennifer