Maximum Fun Forum

Ep. 3: Breastfeeding

Biz and Theresa talk about breastfeeding and manage to stay friends despite all the judging. Then we talk to comedian Marion Oberle who reminds us we aren't the only two moms in the world by sharing how her breastfeeding experiences were not only different from ours but different between her two boys.

Please discuss!

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Theresa

I am really loving this show. I have been a JJGo and Throwing Shade listener forever and I am so excited that Maximum Fun has a mom podcast now!

My original plan was to be a hippie mom and nurse for MINIMUM 2 years, but turned out I was a shit breastfeeder for about 20 reasons and hated every second of it. I made it to 6 months with heavy formula supplementation, and that was like a giant accomplishment. It's cool though, because my kid is 2 now and I am mostly over my very first mom failure.

It's so funny how we set ourselves up with these expectations before we have any clue. I did the same thing. And then motherhood is so strange and full of good and bad surprises.

Glad you're getting over your first bad surprise!

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Theresa

This may be the greatest thing I have read all day I laughed out loud.

The whole thing is weird isn't it? I was editing that show and listened to it over and over and turned to Stefan after a while and was like "It makes me sad sometimes that I didn't grow up around or have people in my life who had kids. I feel like as a result I have such a hard time emotionally with all this stuff."

Then I said fuck it, I rock as a mom and took care of my guilt by buying Katy Belle a doll.

Healthy.

Great episode! I've had it both ways. I only nursed my oldest for two weeks as I developed PPD. Not nursing her was the best decision I made for me at that time, but I wish the circumstances were different and it hadn't felt like it was necessary, you know? So I was determined to 'do better' with my son. He just turned one last week and we are still nursing. It's been hard because my husband refused this time around to help out much since he didn't think breastfeeding was a great idea for whatever reasons, but I am so very glad for the experience. As we've been weaning the past few weeks I've been terribly sad about losing this part of our relationship, but I have to go away for work in a couple weeks and I wanted to have a slow transition to someone else putting him to bed, etc. It's not going well...

Anyhow, my two kids are pretty similar in health and, while it's too soon to tell with the baby, I don't think that they're going to be too different in intelligence or any of those other terrible things they say will happen if you don't breastfeed. It's a great experience and nice thing to do for your children but it's only one experience/nice thing, in my opinion. There will be lots of other ways to win/fail at mothering along the way!

I worry that being a guy listening to a mothering show on breastfeeding makes me seem like a creeper. It isn't stopping me from outing myself by commenting on the forum.

Thank you, Biz, for asking Theresa the question about where to look. I have lived with a breastfeeding mother for five years now, but it is such a different thing when it's another woman. My current response is to immediately swing my head away and down, while sending blood flooding to my head.

My partner actually just weened our youngest when she turned three. That made for over five years straight of breastfeeding. She was obviously one of those who really enjoyed it. The end of both of her pregnancies were less than ideal, resulting in unwanted c-sections both times. However, while other women may have had better birthing experiences she never had any breastfeeding issues. Both girls latched quickly, her milk came in quickly, she never had any pain; and she was producing right to the end (through, even as she had to express to get some relief after weening). And, since this is an adult forum, I can say that we both enjoyed the extra 'trick' while it has lasted. I lucked out because I know that some women's breasts are strictly off-limits while breastfeeding due to the pain. I never had to go through that, for which I'm very grateful.

I kinda love the idea of your very own child experiment with breastfeeding. I guess all children are basically experiments. My experiment is seeing if I can get KB to 5.

Thanks for sharing your experiences...isn't it so weird how different it is each time? Hang in there with the weaning and going back to work. It was really hard when I did it and I know it is for moms everywhere. Be gentle with yourself and don't feel guilty faking sick if you need to just go home and sit on your kids.

Biz

You aren't alone...we have a surprising number of male listeners. Theresa and I were talking about needing to get a childbirth episode out soon to see if there is ANYTHING we can talk about that would phase you guys. mwa ha ha! I love a challenge.

I think even while breastfeeding I didn't know where to look myself! The whole thing is weird. Theresa keeps threatening to pretend to be breastfeeding in the studio just to weird me out.

Thanks for listening!!
Biz

As a father, I enjoy this show very much. My wife and I have a 2 year old and a 3 month old, both girls, so all of the subjects covered are very fresh to us. My wife was physically unable to breastfeed, though she did try with both kids. We did the breastfeeding class, which we both felt was a waste of time and extremely awkward. So when it didn't work out with my first daughter, my wife felt like a terrible mom. She didn't feel so bad when we switched to formula with our current little one. Yes, breast milk is best, but formula is better than it used to be.

Also, I don' t see how you can't do a show about childbirth. Hearing about other's experiences is ten times easier than going through twice, though still traumatic.

Absolutely loving this new show, and trying to catch up on the episodes during my 2 year old's naps...we nursed until just after his 2nd birthday and I really liked it after I got the hang of it (about 5 weeks in). It really, really sucked (ha! sucked! see what I did there) when he was learning to latch and hurt like a mofo.
The hilarious thing about nursing a 2 year old is that if they can talk they loudly shout things like "these are mama's mama milk parts" while grabbing your breasts in the grocery store.

oh man, HILARIOUS. I wondered about that!!!! Simon is a chatterbox at 21 months now, and I often wonder what he would be saying about nursing if we were still doing it. At this point he simply occasionally points at my boobs and says, "All gone?" Awwwwwwwwwww

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Theresa

Oh man...childbirth...the well of lies! We will be doing this, I promise.

Good for you and your wife figuring out what works and thanks for listening to the show!

Biz

Of course this does not phase Theresa in the least. I on the other hand, list "talking to me" as one of my "uncomfortable about everything" cues.

Biz "I am broken" Ellis