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Dimitri brings this week's case against his boyfriend, Landon. Whenever the two of them go out to eat at their neighborhood diner, Dimitri wants Landon to sit next to him, leaving the other side of the booth empty. Landon isn't terribly enthusiastic about this, telling Dimitri that it's a little too lovey-dovey for his liking. Will Landon have to take Dimitri's side? Only Judge John Hodgman can decide.

Judge John Hodgman, Ep. 96: Bench Warrant

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– thomas matysik
Maximum Fun Intern

This episode was delightful. I got really excited during the pop culture reference as I knew what it was almost immediately.

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Ladysplaining - A podcast where Sara Chicazul explains everything
Girlfriend Mode - Lindsay and I talk about video games!

Are you kidding me? All your smug pop culture references and no one mentions Seinfeld?

http://youtu.be/p8Dqoin0PiA

Case closed.

I said "Monk's Cafe" and we all understood what was happening. There was no need to go on.

Sometimes I think every first post should first be brought before some kind of forum tribunal before it can be published.

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@tracyvwilson | Geektastic Pentameter

These two guys are really giving Emily and Kumail a run for their money in the "cutest couple I've heard on a podcast" contest.

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Come then, and let us pass a leisure hour in storytelling, and our story shall be the education of our heroes,

-- quote from Plato stolen from Donna Tartt

I'm only 10 minutes in, but already I'm thinking this: The only couples who sit on the same side of the table at restaurants are a) high school couples b) people who still think they are in high school c) couples at dinner theatre restaurants who need to sit on the same side of the table so that they can see the show. I submit that all three of these groups of people are awful (especially the people who to go dinner theatre...)

I love my wife, and I sit across the table from her at the restaurant so that I can SEE her. Also, at the risk of grouping myself into the aforementioned ranks of couples who think they still are in high school, it's easier to play "footsie" with someone that you are sitting across from

Yeah, between not seeing each other and one person being blocked in, there's no debate that it's logistically inferior. His Honor was correct that the defendant just about torpedoed his argument-from-rationality when he admitted they sat on one side at home, but the fact that it was 'to watch an ipad' was glossed over -- facing entertainment makes it a couch situation, completely different logistical model. (Also, they're presumably in chairs, so the 'blocked in the booth' problem is avoided.)

More importantly, though, I think the plaintiff is wrong to even consider it a Public Display of Affection on par with hand-holding or kissing. The case for PDAs is that they're acts of affection for and directed toward each other, and the fact that they're visible to others is incidental. Sitting on the same side of the booth is strictly a display to others; it's not an 'act of affection' at all, only a statement of it.

Could Judge Hodgman endure the judgment that he found in this case if it were passed on him? Having had a partner try to sit next to me in a booth in the past has been grounds for immediate breakup.

I'm on board with this comment. Yeesh. The only way I'll sit on the same side of the booth as my dining partner, or allow them to sit with me, is if there's a game on a tv that we both want to watch. Regardless of orientation, I just find it weird when couples do this.

Best episode ever!

One comment re: counters vs. booths -

My partner and I love sitting at the bar side by side (or yes,on a corner) and having dinner (it's actually our preferred way of dining out) - and I think we're very obviously a couple - but would never sit side by side in a booth - for me it's basic claustrophobia - for him it's that I spill and knock things over all the time.

And, Dimitri, all the power to you for pushing the public handholding and peck on the cheek - after many years managed to get the latter, but never the former... c'est la vie...

Brilliant judgment, Judge Hodgman!

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chacun à son goût

Thanks Alec. Holding hands is the best.

Great justice, Judge. I loved hearing this case, as PDA has always been a touchy subject for me and my same-gender partner, too.

Incidentally, these guys sounded so adorable, what with all the youth and the gayness and ex-military and all, I had to see if I could find a picture of them on line.

I don't know if it's my browser telling me something but be sure to put your Safe Search to the ON position if you Google Image-search the words: Landon Dimitry.

Or you know... don't. Just be sure you have the boner-containing underwear from the Diabetic Foot Global Conference.

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Kyle Minor
San Francisco's own "Young Bob Odendirk"